So Many Reasons

By Pam Hadder

What is it about certain numbers – why do we find some numbers to be significant, and we allow others to escape our notice?  A 25^th anniversary, the seven-year itch, five-year plans –and what of lucky numbers?  Personally I don’t believe in luck; nor do I support the celebration of life in pre-determined, generic increments.  All we have is this moment, this breath, this heartbeat, and why shouldn't every action and word be considered through that lens of precarious glory?

We are beautifully and remarkably made, we have such amazing potential – we are each comprised of incredible, immortal energy captured for a fleeting moment in human form.  It is a very big deal; exceptional and precious – yet all the while, we are herded, prodded into preoccupations of daily survival, of the mundane, of the expected.  We become disconnected from our glorious nature; our inextricable connection to the divine; the sublime.

This year a beloved, influential person in my life is having a "milestone birthday," which has made me think long and hard about human preoccupation with numbers, the order of things, labeling, organizing, and other trivial categorizations of splendid human potential.   My beautiful friend is having mixed feelings about the pending occasion, and doesn't want any fuss.  I get that, however, I want to celebrate the moment to its fullest extent – not because I am bound to tradition or societal expectations, but because I recognize and wish to acknowledge the importance of her unique spirit’s arrival in this physical realm. On a spring day, a number of years past, she was born into this life and embarked on a journey that eventually intersected with (and super-charged!) my own modest meanderings.  By her unique influence, she has made my life richer, brighter, more beautiful and deeply joyous – she is richly blessed with wisdom, humour, spontaneity, passion for life and charismatic presence. She possesses an intriguing, intoxicating effervescence that cannot be cultivated, but she presents these extraordinary gifts with remarkable humility and selflessness.

And so, dearest FC, for you alone – if numbers must prevail and hold significance – then let it be that with each passing minute, hour, week, month and year, that we recognize another aspect of our earthly self that is to be honoured and cherished.  I know it’s pretty easy to think of thirty or forty reasons that I adore you, my dearest, sweet, kind friend!

That Happy Thing :)

by Pam Hadder

We hear a lot about HAPPY - not necessarily in a direct way... But all of the complaining, self-absorption, dialogue about sex, sensation, shopping, acquiring etc. it's really about what makes us happy; why it's hard to be happy; that possibility that happy is just a metaphysical illusion; all that gobbledygook about the funny chemicals in our bodies that give us that euphoric sensation, and so on. Happy shouldn't be so complicated, should it?  Or at least that is what my gut tells me. My gut also tells me that we shouldn't have to analyse the crap out of happy, we should just "be" and enjoy what comes naturally (smart gut - not always such a smart person, however lol!).  

The daily actions of human survival require interacting with others, and this tends to complicate the happy equation.  I can only speak for myself - I am at heart an introvert, but yet I delight in people and our diversity. I recognize that I cherish and I am inspired by those small, special bursts of light when I enjoy loving, refined, joyous aspects of human connection. You should know that it takes tremendous effort and personal energy for me to step outside of my hard shell and extend myself to others - to make the first move - it's hard work for me; a constant tug-o-war.  Even when I do it - smile, make small talk and so on, my resolutely sequestered inner self monitors it all warily with a dash of mocking cynicism: "What exactly are you playing at, Pami?" And yet, I am not truly happy unless I can interact on a personal, human level, so I continue to nudge against the walls of my perennial awkwardness - striving for that authentic moment that brings me closer to HAPPY.

When I consider the effects of technology on folks like me, it really is a double-edged sword - we have this virtual vista, a means of extending ourselves to make connections with like-minded others, or to discover new ways of looking at life and the world.  On the other side, technology cannot replace looking into another person's face, a shared laugh, or just being together and appreciating an experience - such as nature/scenery, music, art, great food and so on.

And, of course, there is the aspect of the personal cultivation of happiness - I believe that HAPPY truly starts within us - introvert or extrovert, we need to nourish this little seed, to propagate the happy self possibility. And when we choose to be happy, to see the positive, to take a chance, to hope for the best in all things, we all know that we open our tender hearts for great darkness: rejection, for negativity, for all kinds of backlash. Happy is not for the feint of heart - no wonder we get pushed off the happy trail sometimes! 

I think the trick is just to choose happy regardless, and to not take the naysayers and bashers (and so on...) personally.  Choose happy because it feels right and it energizes you, and it puts you in the best position to enjoy all that life offers.