That Happy Thing :)

by Pam Hadder

We hear a lot about HAPPY - not necessarily in a direct way... But all of the complaining, self-absorption, dialogue about sex, sensation, shopping, acquiring etc. it's really about what makes us happy; why it's hard to be happy; that possibility that happy is just a metaphysical illusion; all that gobbledygook about the funny chemicals in our bodies that give us that euphoric sensation, and so on. Happy shouldn't be so complicated, should it?  Or at least that is what my gut tells me. My gut also tells me that we shouldn't have to analyse the crap out of happy, we should just "be" and enjoy what comes naturally (smart gut - not always such a smart person, however lol!).  

The daily actions of human survival require interacting with others, and this tends to complicate the happy equation.  I can only speak for myself - I am at heart an introvert, but yet I delight in people and our diversity. I recognize that I cherish and I am inspired by those small, special bursts of light when I enjoy loving, refined, joyous aspects of human connection. You should know that it takes tremendous effort and personal energy for me to step outside of my hard shell and extend myself to others - to make the first move - it's hard work for me; a constant tug-o-war.  Even when I do it - smile, make small talk and so on, my resolutely sequestered inner self monitors it all warily with a dash of mocking cynicism: "What exactly are you playing at, Pami?" And yet, I am not truly happy unless I can interact on a personal, human level, so I continue to nudge against the walls of my perennial awkwardness - striving for that authentic moment that brings me closer to HAPPY.

When I consider the effects of technology on folks like me, it really is a double-edged sword - we have this virtual vista, a means of extending ourselves to make connections with like-minded others, or to discover new ways of looking at life and the world.  On the other side, technology cannot replace looking into another person's face, a shared laugh, or just being together and appreciating an experience - such as nature/scenery, music, art, great food and so on.

And, of course, there is the aspect of the personal cultivation of happiness - I believe that HAPPY truly starts within us - introvert or extrovert, we need to nourish this little seed, to propagate the happy self possibility. And when we choose to be happy, to see the positive, to take a chance, to hope for the best in all things, we all know that we open our tender hearts for great darkness: rejection, for negativity, for all kinds of backlash. Happy is not for the feint of heart - no wonder we get pushed off the happy trail sometimes! 

I think the trick is just to choose happy regardless, and to not take the naysayers and bashers (and so on...) personally.  Choose happy because it feels right and it energizes you, and it puts you in the best position to enjoy all that life offers.