Goodbye False Icons!

By Pam Hadder

Today is an auspicious day. Rising from bed, swinging sleepy limbs out of cotton swathing to face another day, I am delighted to see the sun’s blush just meeting the horizon; we are in sync at last, without need of a jarring alarm – it’s a perfect beginning to the rest of my life.  Into the shower I trundle, happily soaping all those wonderful body parts:  silently thanking my feet, legs, arms, back, breasts, toes, fingers, ears – I am blessed to have a healthy body; thank you, thank you, thank you. 

No more judgment – not from me; never again - the world will judge my female form harshly, but I have chosen to be her one stalwart supporter.  When I emerge from my domestic cocoon and I must face the many false icons of Photoshopped “perfection” online, outdoors, in print – everywhere – and should I feel myself feeling diminished; fading, I will tap along the pathways my counselor has shown me – face, collar bone, ribs, hand; repeat.   Affirmations will flow from my lips like a bird song: “I am wise, I am healthy, I am enough, I am beautiful for who I am; I love and accept myself…”  

I will feel my heart maintain a slow confident beat, faithfully keeping time while I maneuver through the day’s obstacles and successes; I will draw air into lungs that infuse my whole being with vital oxygen, and when I eat I will refuel; energize – I will relish each bite: savoury, sweet, sour, salty. I will not count calories, or steps; nor will I ever use a scale.  I will not judge my worthiness by size, shape, how much or how little I eat – I will not see food as my enemy.  Food is there to nourish us, after all – so I will delight in having the good fortune to select from many fresh food options, and I will luxuriate in its beauty, sensuality and diversity, and in those special times I can share earth’s nutritional bounty with others.

It has taken decades for the child, then a young woman, then a mother to reach this place of feminine certitude – I am, I feel, I appreciate, I blossom, and I am eternal.  When the work day is done, I will stretch and smile, and seek recreation in the things that bring my body and mind healthy stimulation and inspiration: my art, my music, and leisurely time spent outdoors, or in silent reflection, writing, listening or resting. I do not need to justify my choices; I do not need to explain, but I must fully engage as only I can so that I can enjoy my personal potential.  If not today, then when?  We are only certain of this one breath, this one moment after all.

Back to my body – my good, beautiful, healthy body – I solemnly vow that I will honour her.  I will not wear tight polyester, I will not pound my bones against the hard road, I will not pant so hard I taste blood.  I will stand tall and gracefully walk at a pace that feels right in clothes that feel right, I will feel my heart beating strongly, I will enjoy the scents and sights around me; and I will connect with the people around me  with positive energy – when they smile, I will smile back.
  

Some very good women to heal you and inspire your journey:

Limon – http://limonfresh.ca/

Virgie Tovar – https://www.facebook.com/virgie.tovar.1/about

The Significance of SHE

I consider myself very fortunate to have had a loving Mother. I think of all of the little things she did for me as a kid, and how she continues to support me as an adult.

I have six siblings, so Mom was always "way beyond busy" keeping us all fed, watered and clothed - I get freaked out when I realize now that this ate up the majority of her waking hours, seven days a week, 365 days a year from the age of 23 until her late 40s.

So, don't ever underestimate the fortitude and strength of a woman, or a mother - 'nuff said! Despite a heavy schedule of parental obligation, my Mom still made time for extracurricular interests. She participated in women's groups, committees, sports and so on -- she also sang in the church choir, taught Sunday school, and led the Junior Choir for many of my childhood years. I remember how she would serve us all at mealtimes and would sometimes be eating standing up! I used to like it when she would finally sit down after dinner and she'd ask me to scratch her back or brush her hair - funny, how this family rituals evolve! We'd joke about grooming each other like monkeys...

All of the little details mean so much more when added up over time - Mom paid attention and took care of all of the little details. These are the things that make life special; both as a kid and as an adult - the sprinkles on the ice cream sundae. These are also the things that give us hope on a less-than perfect day and inspire personal creativity.

I recall how Mom would let us each pick what kind of birthday cake we wanted (home-baked, of course), and we would be "consulted" on the colour of the icing. Chiffon cakes were the trend in the 70s, so it was lemon chiffon, chocolate chiffon, poppy seed chiffon, orange chiffon, and so on... I remember choosing blue icing one time, and thinking..."Will she really make it BLUE?" (Yes, she did, and it was a luscious, improbable, kid-pleasing turquoise blue!).

I also got to pick my bedroom paint, wall paper and bedding at about age 8 or 9 - I chose some kinda crazy wall paper with these bobble-headed wedding party figures on it, and she thought that was just fine! (I LOVE my Momma!!!)

As an adult, there was a time when I left a horribly abusive work situation at great financial risk - I was sick with worry, having depleted my meager savings; I was wondering how I would feed my kids and desperately looking for work. I couldn't talk about it to anyone, and was beating myself up about my choices - in particular, for sticking it out at this particular sales position.

I hadn't said anything to anyone, I was so ashamed and felt like a total failure. Then, Mom showed up one evening with several bags of groceries: fruit, vegetables, milk, eggs, bread and other wonderful things, including treats for my little girls: it was like a living angel had heard my prayer and come to my door.

Thanks to my Mother, I lost my cloak of despair and was able to move on to a much better, salaried position in a matter of days. To this day, even when I am broke and nothing seems to be going right, I never feel poor and I never hesitate to give and to share what I have.